1 00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:02,900 ♫♫ 2 00:00:57,370 --> 00:00:59,970 What are you going to do about that, Dave Storer? 3 00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,530 What do you expect me to do, 4 00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:03,430 run along the towpath after him? 5 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:07,730 You lot. You´ve always got an excuse. 6 00:02:23,070 --> 00:02:29,770 "Thyme, sweet marjoram, a little winter savoury. 7 00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:34,700 "To these, put some pickled oysters and some anchovies too, 8 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:37,200 "and a pound of sweet butter. 9 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:41,530 "This dish of meat is too good for any but anglers 10 00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:43,470 or very honest men." 11 00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:45,270 Is that it? 12 00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:47,500 Well, breadcrumbs, that´s my contribution. 13 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:51,030 So, which are you then? 14 00:02:51,030 --> 00:02:52,630 What? 15 00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,630 An angler or a very honest man? 16 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:57,170 What´s to stop you being both? 17 00:02:57,170 --> 00:02:59,000 Well, quite. 18 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Let him be roasted 19 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,370 very leisurely 20 00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:05,800 and often basted with claret and almonds. 21 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:10,170 Oh, sounds smashing. What is it? 22 00:03:10,170 --> 00:03:13,200 Izaak Walton. "The Compleat Angler." 23 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,100 The fish? 24 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:19,800 Esox lucius. 25 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,370 The common English Pike or Pickerel. 26 00:03:21,370 --> 00:03:24,730 Oh yeah, Pike. Do a lot of that, do you? 27 00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:26,470 As much as I can find, which isn´t much. 28 00:03:26,470 --> 00:03:31,470 So, how much do you pay for one? 29 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:37,600 Uh, oh, I´m sorry, I only discuss that with my suppliers. 30 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,430 Where´s my parsnips? 31 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:45,130 Then, 32 00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:47,770 add orange juice and garlic after that. 33 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:51,400 Oh good. Pike. Barry Wilkes loves it. 34 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,530 Margaret, Barry Wilkes 35 00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:55,470 can´t be coming again ! 36 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,900 He likes it here. 37 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,500 Cheer up, Chef, 38 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,330 he likes the food. 39 00:04:00,330 --> 00:04:02,300 You don´t catch Mr. Chukky Chicken 40 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:04,670 eating the mush his so-called farms produce, do you. 41 00:04:04,670 --> 00:04:07,630 He´s my best client Henry, he´s yours, too. 42 00:04:07,630 --> 00:04:09,400 Don´t rub it in. 43 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,470 You´re a tradesman, Henry. 44 00:04:11,470 --> 00:04:13,700 You have to trade -- it´s the first rule. 45 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:14,830 Tradesman, am I? 46 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:17,200 What, a small town greasy spoon merchant? 47 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,300 That´s nice. 48 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,130 Oh, don´t complain. 49 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:22,800 At least the place isn´t full of yobs 50 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,700 calling for special fried rice. 51 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:29,000 Margaret, there are yobs and there are yobs. 52 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,100 That were lovely, weren´t it? Margaret? 53 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,400 Woman, softly: Celebrity speech time. 54 00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:40,170 "Pike the magnificent," "Pike the sublime," 55 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:42,030 "Pike of pikes." 56 00:04:42,030 --> 00:04:44,630 And this, roast parsnip. 57 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:45,800 It was wonderful, 58 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,800 as ever, Margaret. 59 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,300 This is the best restaurant in the county, Margaret -- 60 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,600 Oh, thank you. 61 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,030 Or my name is not Mr. Chukky Chicken. 62 00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:56,670 Oh, God, here he comes. 63 00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,030 Some chicken... 64 00:04:58,030 --> 00:05:01,330 Some egg. 65 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:03,170 Sit down. 66 00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:07,300 Woman, softly: Be nice. 67 00:05:40,630 --> 00:05:42,970 I´ll call her over. 68 00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:48,870 Yes? 69 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:51,330 Yeah, I, uh... I didn´t order this. 70 00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,400 Would you like something else? 71 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,730 Yeah. A kiss. 72 00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:00,930 On the menu? 73 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,870 Now, Margaret, 74 00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:14,530 I had this made to celebrate 75 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:18,200 the 25 millionth Chukky Chicken egg. 76 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,330 25 years in poultry, and the reward 77 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,870 to myself was a golden egg. 78 00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:26,530 What do you think? 79 00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:30,500 Oh, Barry, it´s... 80 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,330 I know, I know. 81 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:35,870 Salt this end, pepper t´other. Salt pepper, 82 00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:37,430 pepper salt. 83 00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:39,000 It´s just like Henry´s, 84 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,030 only I think it´s better, but that´s just my opinion. 85 00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:43,400 Please. 86 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,130 It´s excessive, he knows, but -- 87 00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:48,830 I do think that if a man works hard, 88 00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:52,070 he´s entitled to his little trinkets. 89 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,800 You should come to keep fit. 90 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,870 Well, I don´t think it´s quite my scene. 91 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,700 You must have a swimming cossie? 92 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,970 Yes, I think so, somewhere. 93 00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:21,830 So it´s fixed. 94 00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:23,930 The swimming club tomorrow lunchtime. 95 00:07:23,930 --> 00:07:26,530 All right. 96 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:29,970 What´s he doing now? 97 00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:49,470 ´ere, who supplies the pike? Well? 98 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:50,500 Well, what? 99 00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,430 I was just saying to Steve, 100 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,600 do you know what I like about this kitchen? 101 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,700 The opportunity it presents, presumably. 102 00:07:57,700 --> 00:08:00,530 It´s so orderly. Outside the world -- 103 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:01,870 Henry? 104 00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:05,930 I was wondering how you were. 105 00:08:05,930 --> 00:08:10,400 Yeah, I´m fine, thanks, but we´re busy, I´m cooking. 106 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,570 Look, a golden egg. 107 00:08:12,570 --> 00:08:14,170 Oh, 108 00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,500 very nice, Barry. 109 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,200 It represents 25 million Chukky Chickey eggs. 110 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,500 The chicken that laid the golden egg. 111 00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,700 Goose, actually. 112 00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,330 Lovely restaurant. 113 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:26,670 Sweet staff. 114 00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:27,870 Bastard! 115 00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:30,030 I was just thinking about those pikes. 116 00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:31,730 Where´s his spotted dick? 117 00:08:31,730 --> 00:08:33,970 Well, it must be possible to farm them. 118 00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,330 Hey, that´s the gravy! 119 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:37,470 - Really? - So what about pikes? 120 00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:38,870 If you can farm chickens 121 00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:42,000 and you can farm trout, you can farm pikes. 122 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,370 Your pudding, sir. 123 00:08:45,370 --> 00:08:46,700 Yes, thank you. 124 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,700 Enjoy. 125 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,000 What´s the hurry, son? 126 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,170 No hurry. 127 00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:47,470 You were speeding. 128 00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:48,770 No, I wasn´t. 129 00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:51,200 What are you, a traffic cop as well now, Dave Storer? 130 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,530 Constable Storer to you, young Karl. 131 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,330 And you´ve been sniffing the barmaid´s apron. 132 00:09:56,330 --> 00:10:00,630 No, I haven´t. It´s vinegar. I´ve been eating chips. 133 00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:03,170 And what´s this then? 134 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,670 Your toothpick, is it? 135 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:08,370 That is a very useful tool, that is. 136 00:10:08,370 --> 00:10:11,700 That is going equipped, that is. Get in the car. 137 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,700 Haven´t you got to read me me rights, or something? 138 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,630 Yeah, get in the car or I´ll kick you up the jacksie. 139 00:10:17,630 --> 00:10:19,630 You can´t do this. 140 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:21,030 Watch me. 141 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:33,470 Crabbe 142 00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:37,900 Isn´t it true that washer-uppers get pickings off the plate? 143 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:41,230 Only after the waiters. 144 00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:46,200 Well, whatever you are, you are not a waiter. 145 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,300 What pickings? 146 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,330 Oh, God. 147 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:55,500 I don´t believe it. 148 00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,530 The golden egg. 149 00:10:57,530 --> 00:11:01,100 Yeah, well the yellow metal ovoid, anyway. 150 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,100 Nicola, you better take it back tomorrow morning. 151 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,870 No, give it to me, I´ll deal with it. 152 00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:08,570 What, no finders 153 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:09,730 Henderson, 154 00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:11,830 one of the first things they teach 155 00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:14,470 young police constables is just how dangerous 156 00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:16,300 a little lost property can be. 157 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,100 Who left the door open? 158 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:37,370 What´s wrong with those chickens? 159 00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:40,300 Oh, not again. 160 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:48,930 Put that down, Mark. Right. 161 00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:51,270 I want you all to stay here -- stay here while I go in. 162 00:11:51,270 --> 00:11:52,630 Stay here. Stay here. Mark? 163 00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:54,270 - Yeah? - In you go. 164 00:11:54,270 --> 00:11:57,570 Go on, Barry. Stay there, Lucy. 165 00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:59,130 Crabbe He´s a bore. 166 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,900 And what´s worse is, he´s a boor. 167 00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,300 Oh, I´d love to say that to him. 168 00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,600 "Barry, you´re a boring big-headed boozer, 169 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,770 now buzz off and belt up, you´re barred." 170 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,530 All his cronies are councilors, you know. 171 00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:15,900 Of course they are. He´d make sure of that. 172 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,570 I´m just saying. 173 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,600 Yes, I know what you´re just saying. 174 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:24,630 Barry´s friends give Fisher orders. 175 00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:27,300 Maybe. But not in my restaurant. 176 00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:31,300 Oh. 177 00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:35,070 Hello. 178 00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:36,370 Oh, Barry. 179 00:12:36,370 --> 00:12:38,970 Just got home and realized he´s left his egg behind. 180 00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:42,870 He´s been burgled. 181 00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:44,600 Whilst they were here. 182 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,400 Oh, Barry, I am sorry. 183 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,470 I´m afraid Henry´s in bed at the moment. 184 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,100 Have you tried the local police? 185 00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:57,470 Oh, closed, yes. 186 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:01,130 What about Barstock? 187 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:03,730 Answering machine. 188 00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:08,270 What about 999? 189 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:16,430 Oh, no, won´t come unless the burglar´s there. 190 00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:20,330 They´ll come tomorrow. Well, I am sorry, Barry. 191 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:23,730 If 999 won´t help, I don´t see what Henry can do. 192 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:28,530 All right, yes. I´ll tell him. 193 00:13:28,530 --> 00:13:31,370 Oh, Barry, you left your egg here tonight, 194 00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:33,800 and Henry´s going to bring it round 195 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,200 first thing in the morning. 196 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,000 Okay. 197 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,570 Bye. 198 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:42,800 I wish you hadn´t said that. 199 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,770 The egg could have waited a couple of days. 200 00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:47,330 If I go round there tomorrow, he´ll want me to get involved. 201 00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:50,470 He´s going to phone Fisher tonight. 202 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:53,370 At 1:00 A.M.? I hope he´s wearing earplugs. 203 00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:54,670 Ow! 204 00:13:56,770 --> 00:14:01,530 That´s right, with an "F". 205 00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,770 I can´t take any more of this! 206 00:14:03,770 --> 00:14:06,400 I can´t believe it. He´s ex-directory. 207 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,830 He´s probably frightened about all those irate people 208 00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:11,630 ringing up complaining about the rotten service he´s providing. 209 00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:12,700 Who? 210 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,170 Freddy Fisher, that´s who. 211 00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:17,770 I mean, whatever happened to the Citizens´ Charter, eh? 212 00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,000 I mean, all that cobblers 213 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,430 about customers and quality of service? 214 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,470 Look at it. 215 00:14:26,470 --> 00:14:28,930 Boarded up and useless now. 216 00:14:28,930 --> 00:14:30,300 I bought this house 217 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,570 because it was specifically opposite a police station. 218 00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:36,970 I need a drink. 219 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,000 I don´t believe this. 220 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,570 They´ve pinched the bloody Scotch. 221 00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:52,770 Someone will pay for this. Heads will roll. 222 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,570 My chickens. 223 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,100 Where are you going? 224 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,400 Bit of shopping. 225 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,470 Take this back, will you? 226 00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:40,870 Oh, no. 227 00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:42,830 Come on, you know what trouble 228 00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:45,730 lost property causes policemen. 229 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:54,670 Thanks for all your help. See you tomorrow. 230 00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:55,970 Bye-bye. 231 00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:00,630 Bound over. Cor, what a waste of time. 232 00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:02,330 Still, breakfast weren´t bad, eh? 233 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,700 Karl? 234 00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,830 - When do we get our hammer back? - Karl, leave it. 235 00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:07,330 I´ll decide when to leave it. 236 00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:08,430 Write and ask. 237 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,430 What if we need some nails knocking in? 238 00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:12,570 Use your head. 239 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:13,800 Oi you, Just ´cause he´s young, 240 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,400 he don´t need you picking holes in him. 241 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,600 I know what your game is, and I´ll have you. 242 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,900 Why don´t you leave us alone? 243 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,770 That´s your last chance. Next time. 244 00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:25,900 Come on, Mum. 245 00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:31,930 Are you all right, P.C. Storer? 246 00:16:31,930 --> 00:16:33,230 Yes, Mr. Cherry. 247 00:16:33,230 --> 00:16:35,870 No, sir. It´s him, sir. 248 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,270 Pikeys -- 249 00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:39,600 gypsies without caravans. 250 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,970 They´re a walking paradox. 251 00:16:40,970 --> 00:16:42,930 No wonder they´re always in trouble. 252 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,400 And the law is no help, your tone implies. 253 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,600 The whole system is a farce. 254 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,370 The odds are stacked against me twice. 255 00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,370 Once in nicking them because I´m outnumbered, 256 00:16:51,370 --> 00:16:53,330 and a second time in bringing them to court 257 00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:54,900 because of the attitude of lawyers. 258 00:16:57,170 --> 00:16:58,830 Sir. 259 00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:30,800 Bloody hell! 260 00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:06,330 Come on. 261 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,470 Wait. 262 00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:15,600 Do you love me? 263 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,630 Of course I do, so let´s get on with it. 264 00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:35,470 What´s a police cell like? 265 00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:38,000 Are you doing it on purpose? 266 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,670 No, I just asked. 267 00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:43,430 I´ve never made love to anyone who´s been in a cell before. 268 00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:45,900 You´re not doing it now. 269 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:51,600 Did they strip 270 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,130 I´ll show you. 271 00:18:54,130 --> 00:18:56,230 Luce! 272 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,670 Unhand my sister. 273 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:13,270 Lucy. 274 00:19:13,270 --> 00:19:15,070 Oh, 275 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,400 well, he smells of policemen. 276 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,400 Are you taking the rise? 277 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,000 Oh, Luce, save me! 278 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,300 Save yourself. 279 00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:25,070 I only meant you´d spent the night in the cells. 280 00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,570 Don´t start. 281 00:19:26,570 --> 00:19:29,070 How was dinner with Daddy? 282 00:19:29,070 --> 00:19:31,330 Okay. 283 00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:32,700 Like the pike? 284 00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,800 Oh, yeah, you´re well informed. 285 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,970 Actually we didn´t have it. 286 00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:39,800 Do you like fish, Pikey? 287 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,270 Yeah, lovely stuff. 288 00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:43,930 My Mum left me some roe and chips 289 00:19:43,930 --> 00:19:45,770 in the fridge last night. 290 00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:46,930 What, cold? 291 00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:48,570 No, I didn´t eat it. 292 00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:50,600 No, he was in the cells. 293 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,830 Yeah, I´ll have it for lunch. 294 00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:11,230 Egg. 295 00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:13,100 Like buses. 296 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,630 Nobody comes for 12 hours, 297 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,470 and then two policemen come at once. 298 00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:17,900 Ah, no, no, no, 299 00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,830 I´m here in my capacity as a restaurateur. 300 00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:23,330 It would be better if he came as a chef 301 00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:24,800 and you came as a policeman. 302 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,370 Morning, Storer. 303 00:20:26,370 --> 00:20:27,800 About time. 304 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,700 - Come on. - Good morning, sir. 305 00:20:33,070 --> 00:20:34,670 They came through here 306 00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:36,930 and headed straight for the lounge 307 00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:38,600 and straight for my whisky. 308 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,600 - Malt, was it? - Does it matter? 309 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,200 I was thinking about lists. 310 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,930 We´ll need a list of the missing items. 311 00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:46,200 Oh, is that it, Henry? A list? 312 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,730 I´m sorry I can´t help you, Barry. 313 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,170 It´s P.C. Storer´s case. 314 00:20:50,170 --> 00:20:51,700 So you approve, do you? 315 00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,470 He doesn´t show up for 12 hours, 316 00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:56,030 and when he does show up, he starts making notes 317 00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,900 about whether I drink malt or grain whisky? 318 00:20:57,900 --> 00:20:59,270 Sorry. 319 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:02,100 Never mind about lists, how about doing some policing? 320 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:04,170 It´s been less than a month 321 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:05,500 since the last time we were burgled. 322 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,100 I´ll be off then. 323 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,670 - Where are you going? - Home. 324 00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:10,030 Well, what about the burglary? 325 00:21:10,030 --> 00:21:13,730 Look, P.C. Storer is one of our best young officers. 326 00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,970 It´s his case. Yes. 327 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:18,570 So you´re just going to leave me like that? 328 00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:20,230 I´ve got a restaurant to run. 329 00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:22,700 - Mrs Wilkes not about? - Why? 330 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,600 We´ll need Mrs Wilkes´ help 331 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,370 to compile a list of her possessions. 332 00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,770 She has gone to see her priest. 333 00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:31,100 Now, it comes to something when the victims of crime 334 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:33,800 get more support and comfort from their priest 335 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,230 than the police. 336 00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,970 Thank you very much. 337 00:21:36,970 --> 00:21:40,070 Bye. 338 00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:52,500 Umm! 339 00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:14,870 - No...you. - Go on. 340 00:22:14,870 --> 00:22:16,130 Hello, Crabby. 341 00:22:16,130 --> 00:22:18,070 Is that a policeman´s frown or a cook´s frown? 342 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,900 It´s a "don´t call me Crabby" frown. 343 00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:21,530 - Luce! - Oh, Henry! 344 00:22:32,670 --> 00:22:34,330 Where´s Henderson? 345 00:22:34,330 --> 00:22:36,670 ♫ Gone fishing ♫ 346 00:22:36,670 --> 00:22:40,230 You know, I think he´s after supplying us with some pike. 347 00:22:40,230 --> 00:22:42,200 Who, Henderson? 348 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,800 Yes, you should have seen him. 349 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,000 He´s got this huge rod, can´t hold it. Ah-Ah! 350 00:22:48,170 --> 00:22:50,200 When are we due some pike then? 351 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,600 Can´t say. 352 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,000 - Why´s that, then? - Don´t know. 353 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,130 Fishing´s a mystery to me. 354 00:22:56,130 --> 00:22:57,430 I´ll have to see what my source says. 355 00:22:57,430 --> 00:22:58,430 Are you keen? 356 00:22:58,430 --> 00:22:59,900 On pike? Always. 357 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:01,570 As long as they´re not too small. 358 00:23:01,570 --> 00:23:02,930 They are straight, aren´t they? 359 00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,370 Straight? 360 00:23:04,370 --> 00:23:06,530 As in not iffy. They are from a kosher source? 361 00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:09,470 Oh, you can´t poach pike. They´re like foxes. 362 00:23:09,470 --> 00:23:10,870 How was Torquay? 363 00:23:10,870 --> 00:23:12,570 Loved it. Tremendous. The English Riviera. 364 00:23:12,570 --> 00:23:14,000 What, Freezing, then? 365 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,700 More bracing. 366 00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:16,970 How´s your Auntie? 367 00:23:16,970 --> 00:23:18,570 Top form. 368 00:23:18,570 --> 00:23:19,770 Good. We never missed you. 369 00:23:19,770 --> 00:23:22,030 I hate to intrude on this private grief, 370 00:23:22,030 --> 00:23:23,600 but do we have any customers at all? 371 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:24,730 We do, sir. 372 00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:26,500 We have three, we´re promised four. 373 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:27,570 Business lunches. 374 00:23:27,570 --> 00:23:28,630 The crab pate, chef´s salad 375 00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:30,470 and a soup, baked ham, roast pork, 376 00:23:30,470 --> 00:23:31,530 a steak and kidney, 377 00:23:31,530 --> 00:23:33,430 unless we have any pike on special. 378 00:23:33,430 --> 00:23:36,570 Pike? 379 00:23:36,570 --> 00:23:39,130 To celebrate the 25 millionth egg. 380 00:23:39,130 --> 00:23:42,600 Oh, God, he´s even brought his lawyer for good measure. 381 00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:49,430 Ah, Henry, do you know Brian Cherry? 382 00:23:49,430 --> 00:23:52,400 He is one of the senior partners in Cherry Solicitors. 383 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,570 Yes, of course. Brian, how are you? 384 00:23:54,570 --> 00:23:56,830 And you know Roger. 385 00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:58,930 I do. 386 00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,770 I´m the Roger with the 20 flat tires 387 00:24:00,770 --> 00:24:02,170 in front of his garage, today. 388 00:24:02,170 --> 00:24:04,330 I´m very sorry to hear it. 389 00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:05,700 There´s just one more to come, 390 00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:07,800 so why don´t you have a glass while we wait? 391 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,730 You´re not too busy, surely? 392 00:24:09,730 --> 00:24:15,070 No, uh, no. No, no. 393 00:24:18,430 --> 00:24:19,630 Hi. 394 00:24:19,630 --> 00:24:23,030 So you came then? 395 00:24:23,030 --> 00:24:25,530 Yes, I even bought a new costume. 396 00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:27,470 It´s not your style. 397 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:39,830 Sorry to keep you. Sorry. 398 00:24:39,830 --> 00:24:42,230 Sorry. Sorry. 399 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:44,930 Hello. 400 00:24:44,930 --> 00:24:47,100 Take a pew, Rev. 401 00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:50,200 Tears in the mothers and toddlers. 402 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,830 I had to pour oil. 403 00:24:51,830 --> 00:24:55,430 Now, we´ve come to you, Henry, in a professional capacity. 404 00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:56,570 Clearly. 405 00:24:56,570 --> 00:24:57,670 As a policeman. 406 00:24:57,670 --> 00:24:59,200 You are our local policeman. 407 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:00,430 No, I´m not. 408 00:25:00,430 --> 00:25:02,300 You´re local and you´re a policeman. 409 00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:04,670 Well, that´s different. 410 00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:08,100 Mr. Crabbe. The community is in crisis. 411 00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:10,600 How? Our streets are unsafe. 412 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,030 Here? Can´t say I´ve noticed. 413 00:25:13,030 --> 00:25:14,700 I have to lock the church. 414 00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:16,400 Have you been having thefts? 415 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,700 No, but you can´t trust people. 416 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,570 Only last night my cars were vandalized. 417 00:25:20,570 --> 00:25:22,900 Some yob broke into Barry´s house and stole his goods 418 00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:24,700 whilst he was here in this very restaurant. 419 00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:26,630 - They keep doing it. - Shame. 420 00:25:26,630 --> 00:25:28,500 They even helped themselves to my Scotch. 421 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:30,270 Malt? 422 00:25:30,270 --> 00:25:33,430 It´s not as if we don´t know who it is. 423 00:25:33,430 --> 00:25:34,530 - You do? - It´s obvious. 424 00:25:34,530 --> 00:25:35,570 We all do. 425 00:25:35,570 --> 00:25:37,000 As plain as a pikestaff. 426 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,100 P.C. Storer has him in his sights. 427 00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:40,300 P.C. Storer. 428 00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:42,170 Well, you know, there´s no problem. 429 00:25:42,170 --> 00:25:43,200 What do you need me for? 430 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,470 - Policing. - Action. 431 00:25:44,470 --> 00:25:45,500 An arrest. 432 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,800 Storer´s out of his depth. 433 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,670 We want somebody who knows what they´re doing. 434 00:25:48,670 --> 00:25:50,000 - Who´s on the spot. - You. 435 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,470 I can´t. 436 00:25:51,470 --> 00:25:52,530 Why not? 437 00:25:52,530 --> 00:25:56,100 Because it´s just not possible. 438 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:58,730 There´s a chain of command, this is the police. 439 00:25:58,730 --> 00:26:00,800 It´s not a volunteer fire brigade, 440 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,270 I can´t just take off my apron and go and man the pumps. 441 00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:04,530 You haven´t retired, have you? 442 00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:06,970 No. 443 00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:14,070 How does a serving police officer 444 00:26:14,070 --> 00:26:16,130 find so much time to pursue his hobby? 445 00:26:16,130 --> 00:26:19,230 This restaurant is not a hobby. 446 00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:25,330 Right. Well, what a wheeze. 447 00:26:25,330 --> 00:26:28,900 You have a nice life here, subsidized by the taxpayer. 448 00:26:28,900 --> 00:26:30,670 Is that general knowledge? 449 00:26:32,370 --> 00:26:35,000 Sorry, chef, telephone call for you. 450 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,370 Excuse me. 451 00:26:42,430 --> 00:26:45,330 It´s Mr. Fisher, sir. Sorry. He said it was urgent. 452 00:26:45,330 --> 00:26:46,870 Yeah. 453 00:26:46,870 --> 00:26:50,070 Yes, sir? 454 00:26:57,030 --> 00:26:59,670 Yes, sir, got that. 455 00:27:03,630 --> 00:27:06,470 Glad you saw it our way, Henry. 456 00:27:06,470 --> 00:27:08,230 So, where will you start? 457 00:27:08,230 --> 00:27:09,600 With my flat tires. 458 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,300 With Karl Elves, who´s at the bottom of it all. 459 00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:13,430 Where shall I start? 460 00:27:13,430 --> 00:27:15,330 I´ll tell you where I´m going to start. 461 00:27:15,330 --> 00:27:17,200 I shall start where I want to start. 462 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,600 Which is? 463 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,230 Dave, will you just go outside 464 00:27:24,230 --> 00:27:26,230 and see if you can put your hand in the window. 465 00:27:28,130 --> 00:27:30,470 See, can´t be done. 466 00:27:30,470 --> 00:27:32,200 But what´s that supposed to mean? 467 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,530 Well, it means that either your burglar 468 00:27:34,530 --> 00:27:36,670 didn´t break the window in order to get in, 469 00:27:36,670 --> 00:27:38,000 and if he did he´s got arms 470 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,630 four-foot long. 471 00:27:39,630 --> 00:27:42,230 See, there are no marks on this lock at all. 472 00:27:42,230 --> 00:27:45,130 In fact there´s no sign of forced entry whatsoever. 473 00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:48,870 Except somebody´s stole our stuff. 474 00:27:48,870 --> 00:27:50,370 Thank you, gentlemen. 475 00:28:01,470 --> 00:28:03,100 Hello. 476 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,930 No, I didn´t order pizza. 477 00:28:06,930 --> 00:28:09,600 I came about the burglary, actually. 478 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,170 I can´t help you. It´s untouched. 479 00:28:13,170 --> 00:28:14,830 Too many books, you see. 480 00:28:14,830 --> 00:28:17,830 It´s of no interest to the average burglar. 481 00:28:17,830 --> 00:28:19,000 No. 482 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,530 No, the hoi polloi don´t read anymore. 483 00:28:21,530 --> 00:28:23,230 Hmm, did you have your keys 484 00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:26,000 when you came to the restaurant last night? 485 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,370 Can´t remember. 486 00:28:27,370 --> 00:28:29,130 Do you have them now? 487 00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:42,730 Did they leave your sister´s room alone as well? 488 00:28:42,730 --> 00:28:46,000 Well, there´s just no way of knowing. 489 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,270 Dad 490 00:28:49,270 --> 00:28:51,830 Can I borrow your car? 491 00:28:51,830 --> 00:28:53,700 No. 492 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:55,530 Fascist. Why? 493 00:28:55,530 --> 00:28:57,400 Because you´re too bloody dangerous in it. 494 00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:59,570 Double fascist chauvinist pig! 495 00:28:59,570 --> 00:29:01,730 I heard that the first time. 496 00:29:01,730 --> 00:29:04,470 Is this the burglar or you? 497 00:29:04,470 --> 00:29:06,000 And what are you -- 498 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,930 the tidy bedroom police? 499 00:29:07,930 --> 00:29:10,570 Do you have your keys? 500 00:29:10,570 --> 00:29:13,170 Search me. 501 00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:15,470 Excuse me, 502 00:29:15,470 --> 00:29:18,600 have you finished up there? 503 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,770 Excuse me. 504 00:29:23,770 --> 00:29:25,830 Barry, 505 00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:29,530 did you replace the stuff that was burgled last time, 506 00:29:29,530 --> 00:29:33,070 you know, the TV, video and stereo? 507 00:29:33,070 --> 00:29:34,930 Food processor too, wasn´t it? 508 00:29:34,930 --> 00:29:38,470 It was a word processor. And it was two TVs, actually. 509 00:29:38,470 --> 00:29:41,330 The insurance company will want receipts. 510 00:29:41,330 --> 00:29:45,430 Well, I paid cash for some of them. 511 00:29:45,430 --> 00:29:50,730 Paid cash for some of them. 512 00:29:50,730 --> 00:29:53,400 I hope you give Pikey Elves a hard time -- 513 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,270 as hard as you give the victim. 514 00:29:55,270 --> 00:29:58,470 Leave it with me. 515 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,770 Pikey Elves? 516 00:30:04,770 --> 00:30:08,300 Karl Elves, sir. A yob on a motorbike. 517 00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:10,130 He´s a gypsy, so they call him Pikey. 518 00:30:10,130 --> 00:30:11,330 It´s a -- 519 00:30:11,330 --> 00:30:13,370 A what? A slang word for "gypsy?" 520 00:30:13,370 --> 00:30:16,330 You can´t miss him. 521 00:30:16,330 --> 00:30:18,500 I´ve seen him with those kids, you know. 522 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:20,100 - Those kids? - Yeah. 523 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:21,830 Does their father know? 524 00:30:21,830 --> 00:30:24,900 No, no, I don´t think we ought to pass that on 525 00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:27,600 until we´ve had a chance to have a word with young Pikey. 526 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,330 The burglary wasn´t him this time. 527 00:30:29,330 --> 00:30:30,330 How do you know? 528 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:31,930 I nicked him last night. 529 00:30:31,930 --> 00:30:33,900 - What for? - Going equipped. 530 00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:37,930 He was riding around with a hammer under his shirt. 531 00:30:37,930 --> 00:30:39,170 What, are you saying 532 00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:41,200 he couldn´t possibly have done that burglary? 533 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,400 He might have had time just to do the burglary, 534 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,830 but he couldn´t have moved all that kit on his motorbike. 535 00:30:45,830 --> 00:30:48,770 And I certainly didn´t nick him pushing a barrow through town. 536 00:30:48,770 --> 00:30:51,030 Think he might have had time to hide the stuff? 537 00:30:51,030 --> 00:30:52,230 There´s nowhere. 538 00:30:54,270 --> 00:30:58,630 No. It´s all boarded up. 539 00:30:58,630 --> 00:31:01,300 So much the better. 540 00:31:07,070 --> 00:31:08,600 I started my service here. 541 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:09,670 Oh yes? 542 00:31:09,670 --> 00:31:10,870 The old days. 543 00:31:10,870 --> 00:31:13,100 When there was a good old desk sergeant -- 544 00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:16,270 guns were unknown and people respected you. 545 00:31:16,270 --> 00:31:19,730 And I didn´t have to drive 150 miles a shift. 546 00:31:19,730 --> 00:31:23,530 As I say, the old days. 547 00:31:23,530 --> 00:31:27,100 Yes, when men were men and policewomen were as well. 548 00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:30,500 Just cast your eyes over that lot will you? 549 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:32,530 Looks secure enough. 550 00:31:32,530 --> 00:31:34,800 Yes, but have you noticed, 551 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,030 these nails haven´t rusted -- why´s that? 552 00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:40,770 Didn´t you say Pikey had a hammer when you nicked him? 553 00:31:40,770 --> 00:31:42,100 Yeah. 554 00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:45,900 Well, I think we ought to have a look inside. 555 00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:47,030 Discreetly. 556 00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:49,070 Let´s have a look round the back, eh? 557 00:32:13,370 --> 00:32:16,470 When the Middleton nick was closed down, 558 00:32:16,470 --> 00:32:17,600 we didn´t forget 559 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,100 to empty the lost property cupboard, did we? 560 00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:20,300 No, Guv. 561 00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:22,570 Have you got the list you made? 562 00:32:22,570 --> 00:32:24,530 Thanks. 563 00:32:24,530 --> 00:32:25,770 This is not him. 564 00:32:25,770 --> 00:32:27,670 This is too intelligent for him. 565 00:32:27,670 --> 00:32:30,000 Yeah, that´s right. 566 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,570 There´s a certain flair about this. 567 00:32:32,570 --> 00:32:35,270 An awareness of the meaning of actions. 568 00:32:37,870 --> 00:32:39,100 I don´t see any microwave. 569 00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:41,070 Oh, it´s their stuff, all right, Guv. 570 00:32:41,070 --> 00:32:44,070 And more besides. 571 00:32:44,070 --> 00:32:46,370 Well, , 572 00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:48,770 let´s get somebody down with a van, eh? 573 00:32:51,330 --> 00:32:53,900 Right, I won´t be long, I´ll be back before opening time. 574 00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:55,470 Are you out after your pike? 575 00:32:55,470 --> 00:32:56,530 Might be. 576 00:32:56,530 --> 00:32:59,570 - Who is it, Steve? - Can´t say. 577 00:32:59,570 --> 00:33:01,000 Why? 578 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,430 Fishing´s a craft, isn´t it? They like their secrets. 579 00:33:22,730 --> 00:33:25,130 Oh, It´s all right, Nicola. I´ll go. 580 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,230 Margaret. 581 00:33:34,230 --> 00:33:36,600 What can I say? 582 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,870 I´m so sorry. 583 00:33:38,870 --> 00:33:40,370 About what? 584 00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:43,800 Cutting you like that at the swimming club, of course. 585 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,300 Oh, that. 586 00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:47,230 I was terribly distraught, 587 00:33:47,230 --> 00:33:50,200 what with the burglary and everything. 588 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,700 I´m sorry. 589 00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:55,830 Well, since you´re here, you can save me the price of a stamp. 590 00:33:55,830 --> 00:33:58,330 What´s this? 591 00:33:58,330 --> 00:33:59,630 It´s a letter to Barry telling him 592 00:33:59,630 --> 00:34:01,000 I can no longer be his accountant. 593 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,000 Margaret. He´s your biggest client. 594 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,830 Hmm. I know. 595 00:34:08,830 --> 00:34:13,470 Well, he´s my biggest ex-client now. 596 00:34:13,470 --> 00:34:15,930 Bye. 597 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:25,500 Pikey! 598 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,130 Pikey?! 599 00:34:28,130 --> 00:34:30,700 Karl?! 600 00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:33,470 Karl?! Will you answer me? 601 00:34:33,470 --> 00:34:36,470 Karl, are you going to get that door? 602 00:34:39,770 --> 00:34:43,830 Oh, it´s you. What do you want? 603 00:34:43,830 --> 00:34:47,030 Hello, I´m Detective Inspector Crabbe and this is -- 604 00:34:47,030 --> 00:34:48,630 Yeah, I know who he is. 605 00:34:48,630 --> 00:34:49,970 Pikey is what we want, 606 00:34:49,970 --> 00:34:51,630 so there´s no good hiding him behind your skirts. 607 00:34:51,630 --> 00:34:54,770 Well, he ain´t here. 608 00:34:54,770 --> 00:34:57,170 No, he´s not, is he? 609 00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:03,700 Well, let your hair down, Rapunzel. 610 00:35:03,700 --> 00:35:05,000 What? 611 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,930 Never mind, do you think we could have a chat anyway? 612 00:35:07,930 --> 00:35:10,770 Please? 613 00:35:10,770 --> 00:35:14,830 What are we going to do? 614 00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:18,370 Yeah...it´s a problem, isn´t it, Luce? 615 00:35:18,370 --> 00:35:21,800 What would you do? 616 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,570 I don´t know. 617 00:35:23,570 --> 00:35:25,870 No. I bet you don´t. 618 00:35:25,870 --> 00:35:30,070 Well, luckily, I have a fallback position. 619 00:35:30,070 --> 00:35:32,300 And Karl? 620 00:35:45,730 --> 00:35:47,000 Tea? 621 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,630 Yes, please. 622 00:35:58,130 --> 00:36:02,370 So, what´s the problem with Karl, Mrs. Elves? 623 00:36:02,370 --> 00:36:04,470 Where to begin? 624 00:36:04,470 --> 00:36:06,700 Kids today, Mr. Crabbe, are a struggle. 625 00:36:06,700 --> 00:36:08,670 Yes, has he got a job? 626 00:36:08,670 --> 00:36:11,300 Not since he left school. 627 00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:16,100 Hmm, does his father live here? 628 00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:19,130 He died when Karl was a baby. 629 00:36:19,130 --> 00:36:22,800 I´m very sorry. I didn´t know. 630 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,000 He´s in trouble again, isn´t he? 631 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,470 I´m afraid he is, yes. 632 00:36:26,470 --> 00:36:30,070 It´s not his fault. He´s easily led. 633 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,170 I try. 634 00:36:34,170 --> 00:36:35,930 I do. 635 00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:44,430 He´s a good boy, really. 636 00:36:44,430 --> 00:36:45,730 Of course, he is. 637 00:36:45,730 --> 00:36:48,170 He´s a good son. 638 00:36:48,170 --> 00:36:50,770 He is cheeky, 639 00:36:50,770 --> 00:36:52,900 but he´s only cheeky. 640 00:36:52,900 --> 00:36:54,730 I know. 641 00:36:54,730 --> 00:36:59,230 Er...where did you get the microwave? 642 00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:21,430 What are you after, mate? 643 00:37:21,430 --> 00:37:23,570 What does it look like? Fish. 644 00:37:23,570 --> 00:37:26,670 Well, you won´t find none in there. 645 00:37:26,670 --> 00:37:29,870 Did I ask for advice? 646 00:37:29,870 --> 00:37:31,470 All right, I´m just saying. 647 00:37:31,470 --> 00:37:32,730 Just being friendly. 648 00:37:32,730 --> 00:37:34,530 There ain´t no fish in there. 649 00:37:34,530 --> 00:37:36,570 I´ll let you know. 650 00:37:44,770 --> 00:37:47,130 ...many southwestern and western areas. 651 00:37:47,130 --> 00:37:49,100 Central areas will be mostly cloudy 652 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,500 but should stay mainly dry. 653 00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:52,130 Remaining areas of England... 654 00:37:59,930 --> 00:38:01,100 Daddy? 655 00:38:03,570 --> 00:38:04,730 Daddy. 656 00:38:06,830 --> 00:38:08,730 I have an admission to make. 657 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,900 Well, go on. 658 00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:19,070 Well, I´ve done something rather stupid. 659 00:38:19,070 --> 00:38:22,330 I loaned my keys to this place to a friend 660 00:38:22,330 --> 00:38:26,070 when we went out last night. 661 00:38:26,070 --> 00:38:29,600 He comes from a very poor background, 662 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,670 and, well, I just wanted him to have a good dinner 663 00:38:32,670 --> 00:38:35,600 and an evening in front of the TV. 664 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,130 His house hasn´t got any hot water. 665 00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:41,000 The gas is cut off. 666 00:38:42,830 --> 00:38:48,830 But...well, it seems he abused the privilege and burgled you. 667 00:38:48,830 --> 00:38:53,230 I am so sorry, I know it´s my fault. 668 00:38:53,230 --> 00:38:56,200 But I didn´t know how to tell you before. 669 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,900 You were so upset and there were policemen everywhere. 670 00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:03,500 Oh, darling, darling, 671 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:04,500 don´t worry. 672 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:05,770 Sorry! 673 00:39:05,770 --> 00:39:07,430 What about the other times? 674 00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,400 Fancy a pint? 675 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,670 No. 676 00:39:20,670 --> 00:39:22,800 Oh, just here for the fresh air, are you? 677 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,030 No, I´m waiting to see a man about a fish. 678 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:29,100 Has Crabbe asked you to have a sniff around me? 679 00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:30,270 What? 680 00:39:30,270 --> 00:39:31,630 I´m not as stupid as I look. 681 00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:33,430 Then read my lips, hardnut. 682 00:39:33,430 --> 00:39:36,600 I´m here for the fish. And I´ve got to get back. 683 00:40:08,070 --> 00:40:11,530 Oi! Oi! 684 00:40:18,470 --> 00:40:20,400 Help! 685 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,470 Oi! 686 00:40:22,470 --> 00:40:26,270 Help! Help! 687 00:40:26,270 --> 00:40:29,100 Don´t just stand there. 688 00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:53,370 You were right. There ain´t no fish in there. 689 00:40:56,970 --> 00:40:58,330 So what´s the plan? 690 00:40:58,330 --> 00:40:59,630 Well, he won´t go far. 691 00:40:59,630 --> 00:41:01,500 When he gets home, we´ll nick him. 692 00:41:01,500 --> 00:41:03,570 Meanwhile I´ll make us some supper. 693 00:41:07,070 --> 00:41:10,770 Now then, what´s all that about? 694 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,470 Cheers. 695 00:41:16,470 --> 00:41:18,070 Brr. 696 00:41:24,930 --> 00:41:26,370 Steve? 697 00:41:26,370 --> 00:41:29,700 - Oh, someone. - Roger Paynter. 698 00:41:29,700 --> 00:41:34,130 Threw his bike in the river outside the Anchor. 699 00:41:34,130 --> 00:41:35,530 Oh, that´s terrible. 700 00:41:35,530 --> 00:41:37,130 Bloody yob. 701 00:41:37,130 --> 00:41:38,770 So I brought them back here to dry out. 702 00:41:38,770 --> 00:41:40,000 What were you doing there? 703 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,100 For the pike. He´s Pikey. 704 00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:44,630 Oh, you´re 705 00:41:44,630 --> 00:41:46,330 the pike fisherman, Karl? 706 00:41:46,330 --> 00:41:47,470 That´s right. 707 00:41:47,470 --> 00:41:49,400 That´s why they call me "Pikey." 708 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,370 Does that mean you´re not a gypsy? 709 00:41:51,370 --> 00:41:53,500 What 710 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:57,670 We´ve found the stuff, Karl. 711 00:41:57,670 --> 00:42:00,170 What stuff? 712 00:42:00,170 --> 00:42:02,100 The loot from your burglaries. 713 00:42:02,100 --> 00:42:05,030 We know it was you. 714 00:42:05,030 --> 00:42:07,400 Yeah? Prove it. 715 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,170 I don´t have to. You´re going to admit it. 716 00:42:10,170 --> 00:42:12,770 Yeah, right. Dream on. 717 00:42:12,770 --> 00:42:15,870 Rather than let your Mum face charges 718 00:42:15,870 --> 00:42:17,130 for handling stolen goods. 719 00:42:17,130 --> 00:42:18,470 The microwave, Karl. 720 00:42:18,470 --> 00:42:20,970 The Wilkes´ microwave was in your Mum´s kitchen. 721 00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:26,300 I just wanted to give her something. 722 00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:30,430 And you wouldn´t charge her? 723 00:42:33,630 --> 00:42:36,070 Yeah, all right, I admit it, I done the burglaries. 724 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,300 Will I go to jail? 725 00:42:39,300 --> 00:42:41,300 Of course, you will. 726 00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:46,200 But it´s not fair. Why can´t we have a microwave? 727 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,900 I´ve had years of people pushing down me throat, 728 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,770 "if you want it get it, if you want it get it, 729 00:42:50,770 --> 00:42:51,900 if you want it get it." 730 00:42:51,900 --> 00:42:54,500 You shouldn´t believe everything politicians say. 731 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:57,630 Yeah, well you still need money, don´t you? 732 00:42:57,630 --> 00:42:59,930 Anyway, I´m not stupid. I know how it works. 733 00:42:59,930 --> 00:43:01,930 All the way to the top of society, 734 00:43:01,930 --> 00:43:04,030 people are robbing and thieving -- 735 00:43:04,030 --> 00:43:06,830 MPs, businessmen, councilors, even churchmen. 736 00:43:06,830 --> 00:43:08,130 All hypocrites, I can see. 737 00:43:08,130 --> 00:43:10,470 Not all of them. 738 00:43:10,470 --> 00:43:13,170 Yeah, well, nobody´s going to give you nothing 739 00:43:13,170 --> 00:43:14,870 if you don´t take for yourself. 740 00:43:14,870 --> 00:43:16,100 What gave you the idea 741 00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:18,400 of storing the stuff in the old police station? 742 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,570 I dunno. 743 00:43:19,570 --> 00:43:21,170 Not Mark Wilkes, then? 744 00:43:21,170 --> 00:43:22,800 Who? 745 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,770 Come on, I´ve seen you together. 746 00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:30,070 No, not from Mark Wilkes. 747 00:43:30,070 --> 00:43:31,200 Nor Lucy? 748 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:35,400 Nor Lucy. It was my own idea. 749 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,730 You´re sure? 750 00:43:36,730 --> 00:43:40,500 I´m sure. 751 00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:43,770 They wouldn´t do this for you, you know. 752 00:43:43,770 --> 00:43:46,130 Two soup, two gravadlax, one rabbit terrine, 753 00:43:46,130 --> 00:43:48,770 one ham starter, three steak pie, one roast beef, 754 00:43:48,770 --> 00:43:51,700 two portions of pike. 755 00:43:51,700 --> 00:43:55,530 Is anybody cooking in here? 756 00:43:57,170 --> 00:44:00,670 ´ere, where do you get the pike from? 757 00:44:04,330 --> 00:44:05,900 I´ll be quick as I can. 758 00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:09,430 I´m sorry, Margaret, but I think I´m going to put the kibosh 759 00:44:09,430 --> 00:44:12,130 on one of your most important clients. 760 00:44:12,130 --> 00:44:15,530 Good. ´Cause he´s my ex-client now. 761 00:44:15,530 --> 00:44:17,100 Why? 762 00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:20,470 Oh, I´m fed up with the lot of them. 763 00:44:20,470 --> 00:44:22,870 Evelyn was wretched to me yesterday at the swimming pool. 764 00:44:22,870 --> 00:44:24,000 What, because of me? 765 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,430 No. 766 00:44:25,430 --> 00:44:28,400 ´Cause I caught her snogging that vicar, Beaulieu. 767 00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,030 You never did? 768 00:44:32,030 --> 00:44:33,870 In the car park at Barstock. 769 00:44:33,870 --> 00:44:36,030 What, that puffed up little clergyman? 770 00:44:36,030 --> 00:44:39,630 Is that the best she can do? Good, Margaret. 771 00:45:00,070 --> 00:45:03,600 Crabbe. I´m glad I caught you. 772 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:04,830 I´m very busy. 773 00:45:04,830 --> 00:45:06,730 This is official business. 774 00:45:06,730 --> 00:45:08,700 You know I represent Barry Wilkes? 775 00:45:08,700 --> 00:45:10,000 Go on. 776 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:14,470 Their son has admitted he took pity on poor Karl Elves. 777 00:45:14,470 --> 00:45:17,230 He loaned him his house keys so that he might enjoy 778 00:45:17,230 --> 00:45:19,530 the comfort of the Wilkes´ house for an evening. 779 00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:22,430 This act of kindness was abused by Elves, and he burgled them. 780 00:45:22,430 --> 00:45:24,500 Do you expect me to believe that? 781 00:45:24,500 --> 00:45:27,500 Yes, we do. 782 00:45:27,500 --> 00:45:32,670 They told Karl to trash their parents´ house. 783 00:45:32,670 --> 00:45:34,370 Well, why would they do that? 784 00:45:34,370 --> 00:45:39,030 I don´t know. Spoiled brats. Career criminals. Who cares? 785 00:45:39,030 --> 00:45:41,570 Either way, they´re in trouble. 786 00:45:41,570 --> 00:45:43,370 I don´t think so. 787 00:45:43,370 --> 00:45:45,930 I do. 788 00:45:45,930 --> 00:45:47,830 Look, if your house was burgled, Barry, 789 00:45:47,830 --> 00:45:49,630 your own kids would be the last ones 790 00:45:49,630 --> 00:45:50,670 anyone would suspect. 791 00:45:50,670 --> 00:45:52,370 You´ve no proof. 792 00:45:52,370 --> 00:45:54,900 Then I´ll just have to find some proof, won´t I? 793 00:45:54,900 --> 00:45:56,770 It is what you wanted, wasn´t it? 794 00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:58,530 I mean, a proper police investigation 795 00:45:58,530 --> 00:46:01,870 that would reach the truth? 796 00:46:01,870 --> 00:46:06,370 You´re wrong. Look at them. Which would you believe? 797 00:46:06,370 --> 00:46:09,330 You can´t drag the Wilkes´ name through the mud 798 00:46:09,330 --> 00:46:11,200 on the say-so of a yob, Crabbe. 799 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:12,630 They´ve no convictions. 800 00:46:12,630 --> 00:46:15,700 Mark has got a university place, Luce is doing her "A" levels. 801 00:46:15,700 --> 00:46:17,970 They come from a good stable background. 802 00:46:17,970 --> 00:46:21,000 If it´s a competition in credibility, there´s no contest. 803 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,700 Just bring them down to Barstock nick, all right. 804 00:46:23,700 --> 00:46:25,870 I´ll have them out again in an hour. 805 00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:28,600 Yes, I know, but then that´s you doing your job, isn´t it? 806 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:30,300 Now leave me to do mine. 807 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,630 Morning, Henry. 808 00:46:58,630 --> 00:46:59,730 Morning. 809 00:46:59,730 --> 00:47:01,530 I see you nabbed that boy then. 810 00:47:01,530 --> 00:47:03,530 Bit of a rum do, eh? 811 00:47:03,530 --> 00:47:05,130 Mm-hmm. 812 00:47:05,130 --> 00:47:06,630 Back to the kitchen now, is it? 813 00:47:06,630 --> 00:47:07,900 Well, not quite. 814 00:47:07,900 --> 00:47:09,970 I´ve still got this criminal damage to sort out. 815 00:47:09,970 --> 00:47:12,870 Oh, I expect the insurance will cough that up. 816 00:47:12,870 --> 00:47:16,800 The main thing is he´s not still on the streets slashing tires. 817 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,170 No, I meant the criminal damage to Karl Elves´ bike. 818 00:47:20,170 --> 00:47:23,030 You threw it in the river. 819 00:47:23,030 --> 00:47:24,170 No, I didn´t. 820 00:47:24,170 --> 00:47:26,770 A witness saw you. 821 00:47:29,870 --> 00:47:31,670 Okay. 822 00:47:31,670 --> 00:47:34,100 So, I did chuck his bike in the drink. 823 00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:35,600 But what about my tires? 824 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,670 Was I just supposed to put up with that? 825 00:47:37,670 --> 00:47:39,200 You picked the wrong yob. 826 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,130 Karl Elves was in police custody when your tires 827 00:47:42,130 --> 00:47:43,300 were being slashed. 828 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,200 I was just taking a bit of direct action. 829 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,600 So are we. 830 00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:52,230 Get in the car. 831 00:47:56,370 --> 00:47:59,130 Come on. 832 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,470 Subtitling made possible by Acorn Media